Biographical transformation processes are part of life – and therefore unavoidable…
… which doesn’t make these transitions any easier.
Or more acceptable.
At least not for the ego.
The wise Inner Voice welcomes change. “It was time!”, it whispers in dreams at night. “Let go! Everything will work out!”
The ego, on the other hand, runs amok. It has fought and struggled and worked so hard for years – and now everything is going down the drain?
“This can’t be happening!”, it sobs desperately. “Why does this have to happen to me?”
The ego resists every change with hands and feet, clings desperately to the old life – and stubbornly insists that whatever is coming its way can only lead to complete catastrophe!
I know what I’m talking about.
Again and again I have gone through this process – as has every person who truly lives their life.
Because I practise Zen and Buddhist Tantra, the biographical ruptures in my life are possibly somewhat more dramatic than for others.
Or perhaps that’s just how it seems to my anxious ego?
It has now been a year and a half since I found my historic parsonage in the Mecklenburg countryside. Through a dream.
As befits a card reader, I consulted the Tarot immediately after finding the parsonage I had dreamed of in a property listing.
The answer was unambiguous: The Sun!
And so it has remained to this day.
Whatever happens here at the parsonage.
Because catastrophes and miracles balance each other out with remarkable precision.
Even so: both my Inner Voice and the Tarot insist that I couldn’t have made a better choice.
I have now been living at the parsonage in a small village in the Mecklenburg Lake District for a year.
Slowly, my anxious ego is beginning to relax a little.
Occasionally it can even take pleasure in all the beauty here.
It no longer has to predict the end of the world at every obstacle.
Conflict and frustration – inevitable with a project like this – send the ego into deep depression less and less.
It is learning that it can also fight.
And win.
In short: the ego is growing through its challenges.
And occasionally, it is even starting to enjoy itself.
The wise Inner Voice smiles with quiet affection.
It knew from the very beginning that it was time to face the complexity of life.
And that the ego would manage just fine.
Curious about working with dreams and inner guidance? Learn more about my approach: https://katharina-kaintz.com/en/how-i-work/
