How Tantra Gave Me a Parsonage — Part Four: Spray

Black and white photo of an ocean wave breaking through rocky cliffs, spray rising into the air

The energy of my tantric initiation into the practice of the wrathful dakini Simhamukha follows me into sleep…

Part of a series recounting the backstory to the dream of the parsonage, first written down in spring 2023. https://katharina-kaintz.com/en/the-parsonage-story/the-pond/

Before me rises an enormous black sword — symbols engraved into its hilt.

I am aware that I am dreaming.

Laboriously, I fight to summon enough awareness to actively steer the dream. Because something is expected of me, here and now.

But what?

Of course!

In the dream, I transform into the lion-headed dakini Simhamukha. The image is unsteady — I have never practised it while awake.


During the day’s ceremonies, I needed all my concentration just to work my way through the Tibetan text, line by line, hour by hour. initiation-and-the-dakini-simhamukha/

As unfamiliar as it is to suddenly be a wrathful dakini, just as strange does the hilt of the sword feel in my hands.

As I grip it tighter, I become aware of what I have to do.

The Nepalese lama demonstrated it a few hours earlier, during the ceremony: he stabbed a small black sword — identical to the enormous one whose hilt I now grip in the dream — into an empty metal bowl.

The text said that Simhamukha kills all enemies and crushes them to dust.


Fully focused, I raise the sword to head height.

Something lies between my feet. I feel it move.

It is alive!

Suddenly a wild energy floods through me!

With all my strength, I plunge the sword into whatever lies beneath me on the ground.

It is a grey, misty shape, I see, as the blade’s tip passes through it and bores into the earth.

Suddenly the image shifts: I am staring at a wall of brown clay.

Only a second passes, then there is a crack — and an enormous wave bursts through the wall.

Spray flies!

Water roars and foams all around me — and at the same time, an endless feeling of liberation washes over me!


When I wake the next morning, I feel good.

Extremely good!

The uncomfortable pressure behind my eyes is gone…


In this series: ← Part Three: Initiation and the Dakini Simhamukha


Curious about working with dreams and inner guidance? Learn more about my approach: https://katharina-kaintz.com/en/how-i-work/


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