The blue wrathful god Vajrakilaya spreads his wings — and gives me a fantastical experience…
Part of a series recounting the backstory to the dream of the parsonage, first written down in spring 2023. https://katharina-kaintz.com/en/the-parsonage-story/the-pond/
I leap up and down, flapping my wings, dancing to the rhythm of the drum.
Around me: fire!
Beneath the soles of my bare feet: my enemies!
I feel the warmth and movement of their bodies. It’s a deeply unpleasant feeling, trampling on other people!
“It’s only a visualisation,” I remind myself, “these are your own inner obstructions. They’ve earned this! Enjoy it!”
Resigned, I keep dancing, swinging my six arms, spinning in a circle between the tongues of flame.
All the while I try not only to look through the eyes of the blue head at my centre, but somehow also through the eyes of the two heads sitting to the left and right of my ears.
After a few attempts the view shifts — again and again, for a moment, I manage something that just about passes for a 180-degree angle.
With that, today’s goal is met.
I grant myself permission to move from duty to freestyle.
Relieved, I spread my wings and push off the ground with both legs.
Beneath me, the bones of my enemies crunch.
I’d actually meant to take the window, but I have so much momentum that I break straight through the ceiling!
At breakneck speed I shoot through the room on the second floor, and burst through that ceiling too!
Then one more hole through the roof timbers — and suddenly the retreat house is lying beneath me.
I’m flying!
Bewildered, I beat my enormous blue wings, while my consort clings to my chest in fright.
It’s easy, I notice.
I was born to fly!
Who would have thought?
I circle experimentally at low altitude above the roof of the retreat house. At the bottom of the holes my massive body has punched lies the floor of the shrine room.
Flames are still leaping up down there.
Tiny and distant, I make out the crushed bodies of my enemies in the fire.
I look up and glance around.
Beside the retreat house lies the pond.
I spread my wings, drop into a dive, and race across the water’s surface. My consort’s back sends spray flying left and right.
A few ducks burst upward in alarm.
Maybe a little juvenile — but it’s definitely fun.
Now I’m in experimentation mode!
Diving is great.
What else is possible?
I beat my wings powerfully and spiral upward.
The retreat house, the pond, and the village grow smaller and smaller. A flock of crows flaps cawing far below me.
It’s astonishing how fast I climb.
I stretch out my wings, spread my six arms, and glide along just beneath the thick cloud cover.
Something’s happening with my eyes!
All at once I realise I’m seeing like a bird!
The red head on one side of my skull is the left bird’s eye. The white head on the other side is the right bird’s eye. The blue head in the centre looks out through the third-eye chakra.
“Of course,” I think, “birds ‘read’ the earth’s magnetic field! That’s what an open third-eye chakra is for!”
A scientifically bold thesis — but at least for me, as the embodiment of the three-headed flying god Vajrakilaya, it holds up.
Delighted by this new perspective, I glide on — all six arms spread wide — steadily gaining altitude despite barely moving.
Dense clouds surround me now.
Snowflakes rush past.
I ought to be cold, but I feel nothing except an overwhelmingly clear energy flowing through my body.
Unexpectedly I break through the cloud cover.
Around me, the blue of the sky; above me — blazing white — the light of the sun.
I glide toward it at breakneck speed, wings and arms outstretched.
Its light grows more dazzling by the moment!
Strangely, I feel no fear. The deep inner clarity I carry within me tells me that everything is exactly as it should be.
There!
The light has swallowed me!
It feels as though time has stopped existing.
I’m aware that I’m moving forward at breakneck speed — and at the same time it’s as though everything has come to a standstill.
Suddenly I see “double”!
I am Vajrakilaya, sailing high across the firmament through the sun.
And at the same time I “see,” inside my body sitting on the cushion, my heart chakra glowing dazzling white — and within it, tiny but perfectly recognisable, myself as Vajrakilaya, sailing with arms and wings spread through my own heart energy.
I am outside and inside at once!
What a trip!
At some point I realise I’ve been reciting the root mantra the entire time. Something tells me it’s time to come back.
I beat my wings, clasp my consort with all six arms, and go into a descent. The wind roars in my ears, shreds of cloud rush past.
Below me I make out the roof of the retreat house. Astonishingly, with my wings spread wide, I fit through the holes in the roof and ceilings.
No sooner am I sitting on my cushion again than Rinpoche begins reciting the mantra, slowly and loud.
The meditation session is over.
As a crowning finish, I even managed a perfect touchdown.
And without a pilot’s licence…
Curious about working with dreams and inner guidance? Learn more about my approach: https://katharina-kaintz.com/en/how-i-work/
